apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Bring me that man meat
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
