Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.