I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.