A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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