am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
