Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
