so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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