you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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