I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
even my farts smell like vagina
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
