so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
