all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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