An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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