I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
