my vag is so smooth its legendary
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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