So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize