i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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