What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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