Im at strip club and am horny
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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