This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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