Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have fence marks all over my body
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
