I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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