i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
