I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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