I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
