dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
