yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
