so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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