he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
