sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think your dad took our porno
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i think my cat just said my name.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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