Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
