Apparently you make a good broom.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize