Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
