dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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