I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
