11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
