where am i from again
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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