Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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