So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
