I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
