it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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