my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
accomplished twins. life is a go
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
