Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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