Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize