Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
