it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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