My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
