so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
