Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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