she was so not down for the gang bang
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
