she looked like the before picture.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
