Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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