Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
