I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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