Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize