i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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