There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
