The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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