Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
