SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
