You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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