i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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